I don't know, my mind will keep calculating the unsolved matter even thought if it was like six month ago. Have you ever fall for a person who were unfortunately also start to fall for another person? She gave you hint and stuff to show you that she was interested and you start to had feeling with her but then she suddenly change for a reason, a reason that you know but she wouldn't admit. What makes things worse was the sudden manner. It was like "Fuck you, i don't like you, i had nothing to do with you, I fancy this new guy, go to hell", mocked you with her friends and then she ignore you like tungol and the only way to communicate with her is like this and a couple of days earlier she was actually like "Woaw, bile nak belanje ice-cream?" with ;) and "more".
Oh maann...only god knows the pain. She hate me so much for admitting my feeling just when her heart with others and perhaps because i remove her from FB and myspace with a "fuck u" soon after which i think she glad because I was the one who was holding her back. If i recall back the moment, it was like one of the worst moment in my entire life period, just in front of my 10 Gb hardisk kabooom! moment.
It get even worse when you actually know what was going on. For example "que pensez-vous?". I think she look back just because she find out that the guy was already owned and at the same time you learn that you were not the "it" guy for her which you are not because if you are, she wouldn't treat you macam anjing which she did and even worse she also painted you as an ugly dog saying "NARF". Now, how would you feel when the person you care so much and you think she felt the same way suddenly treat you that way? The most painful thing that a person can ever say when the other were like "oblivion" : The heart want what the heart want. .......WTF?? :(
I might be wrong in some part but its not my fault to assume what i assume...
I got only few reason to love her but endless reason to HATE her and the most unfair thing is that i still love this girl, and i love to love her which i hate myself and i can't control it...FUUUCCCKKKKK!!!!
ccccooooommmeeeooonnn!! open your heart man!!! the more i try to to move on the more it struck...
There was this one time that i truly move on but the bitch call me back for a weird reason....f*cking fickle a*shole...
She is the most coward, weird, manipulative, ego, mean, childish, selfish, opportunist and pathetic girl that i had ever known, FACT.
...and i don't know why the hell i'm feeling what i am feeling. Being with her is the best thing ever....
I guess i'm not worthy enough for her to admit with my current standard. Let it be as it is, i guess i'm fine this way, really. To be honest i'm still not ready, maybe another ten years till i truly get my self esteem and by that time she will be on my knee begging for mercy ...bwhahahahaahahahahahha (macam sialann xD)
haduhh...i guess imagination is a cure...pphhff
I nailed Crying Lightning and it will be up pretty soon
I'm really derange now.....NARF!
Btw, Durian unveiled their main character:
Goodluck with math exam next week L :')
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